Fashion City

so i'm in Milano now and everything on the internet is in italian, like duhhh :x

it has been almost more than half a year since i last visited milan...

being back again, feels so good.

its only, day #01 and i've already made my first damage(mind you, it's a big one.)

and im contemplating if my pocket can do a second blow. hahahahahhaa.

it's a birthday gift for myself (!!)

that's the thing about gifts,

they are never enuff :p

sometimes,

i wonder.........

am i asking for too much?

or have i been less of a friend to you.

i try to be there for you as much i could....

but this friendship is taking it's toll on me.

there are some friends who'd go all out for you,

but there are some friends who'd just stop right there.

what are you?

i wish it was a small matter,

that i didnt take this too seriously.

cos i dont wanna care that much anymore,

i dont wanna be disappointed/upset anymore

by YOU.

:'(

disappointment fills the room.

do u need a friend who gives lesser jus to realise you treasure her more,

than someone who gives her ur all so as u could take her for granted?

if that's you,

i rather not knowing you.

cos being your friend is just too much to handle...

& i've been let down too often,

too soon.

awfully enough,

i am so sick of being caught in the middle...

why do i have to take the fucking bullet for something that i did not even do?

why do i have to bear the burden of your personal issues & make them mine?

do you think i'd actually stood down to that level?

you're a friend, & i respect you.

i try to be sensitive towards how you felt,

but you let your emotions run the situation.

i'm not even sure how i got involved in the first place...

i hate to say this, but its pretty sad to know that even our closest friend/s misunderstood us.

i'm taking a step back.

i dunno if i can trust You the same anymore.

no one is to blame.

just silly me, for pinning up so much hope on both of you & this trip.

an empty promise,

a cancelled trip,

and a hell load of disappointed.

i hate to get involved, thankyouverymuch.

.

This is how it had to end

'cos guessing games ain't my forte.

And the clock is broken.

Everybody has to leave

Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons. I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same pages recurrently.

[Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts]

fixture

for all the fate lost,

give us a little more t i m e

to make this right all over again.